What I Didn't Bargain On

We have adopted seven children and all but the last two came in age order. During our years as foster parents, we always felt very strongly about keeping our kids in birth order to alleviate the jealousy and tension that would inevitably arise. While some families integrate kids of all ages seamlessly, for our family age order seemed to work.

After we committed to adopting Micah (placed with us as an infant at 5 weeks) and eventually his brother Trey (came at 8 months of age, left and returned), we knew we were in this parenting thing for the long haul. Good-bye empty nest years. We will never know you but that's okay.  

Eight kids seemed like a good number. Things multiplied fast at the end there with the addition of two sibling groups. But we were left with a big six year gap between Cora and Trey. It just didn't seem right. 

We set out to fill in that gap and goodness but don't Joshua and Joy do that magnificently?

We aced the older adoption child workbooks. We had been through the fire with Kloey and Cora coming as older foster/adoptees. We felt reasonably prepared and ready to face whatever issues might come up by welcoming Joshua and Joy to our family.

But for me, a new wrinkle has emerged that I did not see coming.

All four of our younger kids are on about the same emotional level. 

Trey had quite a bit of upheaval in his first two years of life. Although Micah came to us early, he had a very rough start and an even rougher in-utero experience. Joshua was in foster care in China but returned to the orphanage once he was school age. Joy never lived anywhere but the orphanage. 

Even though they range in age from four to nine, they are all learning what it means to be part of a family at about the same time. For Micah and Trey, it is age appropriate laced with a few attachment issues. Joshua and Joy are playing relational catch up and probably will for awhile.

Honestly, some days this means that my lap is not big enough. 

But most days: Oh, the laughter and smiles, the hugs and tears, the rowdy play, shouting and singing, running and jumping! 

And just like when I had only two or three and felt overwhelmed, I remember that most importantly, they have each other, and most days that is more than good enough!