More Joy

Guess who had a birthday? Poor Joshua has to wait a whole year and 10 birthdays before he got to celebrate. Joy, on the other hand, was first up after she got home. Although it was super fun to plan a night to make her feel special, I was a little sad because she didn't really understand what was happening or what all the fuss was about.

Because Joy wasn't up to picking out her own cake this year, we used the power of go*gle to inspire some creativity. We landed at the zoo and had a ball making these cupcakes.  

Oh happy day. She sure enjoyed the attention. When she gets overwhelmed, Joy tends to get super silly and crazy loud. She is our par-tee girl!

Our prototypes included a giraffe, an elephant, a tiger, and a monkey.

There were two of us creating and after getting over the initial hump, we branched out and I don't think there were two of anything exactly the same. The giraffes stretched with pretzel necks and horns.

The monkeys had vanilla wafers, peanut ears, and jelly bean eyes.

The tigers roared with marshmallow noses and almond ears.

My personal favorite was the elephant boasting a licorice trunk.

Not exactly sure...

You want me to do what?

 Oh honey, don't cry. Trust me, this is a good thing!

Leftover cupcakes and frosting resulted in fantastic designs.

My partner and the resulting mess we made!

The three wisemen combed their rooms for odds and ends and wrapped their little hearts out trying to make their new sister's birthday as special as possible.

Didn't take Miss Joy long to figure our how to unwrap and enjoy.

Now, we work on "Thank you!"

Dear Joy, Your birth-day will never go unacknowledged, ever again! 

I hope your day was special because you certainly are!

Joy, Joy, Joy

 This is when you know...

it's meant to be!

We enjoyed another fair! The balloon guy didn't want to give her one because he thought she was under three. Mama Bear made sure she got her balloon!

There has been way too much of this! Several times, her veins blew out resulting in more than one stick.

One very brave girl!

I usually bring one big kid with me to all the doctor's appointments. It has given them time to feel special and get to know Joy better. Nothing like a few hours in the car to get a sense of someone's personality!

If Joy, doesn't know where I am, a sad face appears. I haven't been to the bathroom by myself in five weeks as she keeps good track of my comings and goings.

An upper respiratory infection meant that Joy met the nebulizer. Interestingly, she took to it like a fish to water! We are pretty sure she has had nebs before so another piece of the puzzle is put into place. We will keep a close eye on her to determine if she has asthma, or maybe colds affect her more severely because of her decreased lung function? It's a mystery.

Speaking of fish, here is her own fish face. Joy will try anything and that goes a long way when every single thing in your life is new.

She laughs a lot and flashes her smile even more. She lights up a room!

Oh, the peer pressure around here...

Joy is settling in magnificently. I cannot believe it has only been a month home from China. On the days when I am feeling discouraged (and there ARE those), I have to remind myself that it's not a race but a journey. I stand in awe of how well Joy has integrated into our family life, how well the kids have all accepted her as their own, how family and special friends have enveloped her with love.

Joshua has become a wonderful big brother to his new sister. He has accompanied Joy to most of her medical appointments doing a great job of introducing her to all of his doctors. I couldn't resist taking a picture of the two of them power napping in the back seat. I had to hold the camera up (ahem, yes, while I was driving) and hope for the best. As soon as we stop, they instantly wake up. 

I look back at them and feel grateful beyond what I ever imagined.

Must be pure Joy!

A Funny Thing Happened At The Fair OR Adoption - There's A Whole Other Family Out There

As I posted last week, we went to the big state fair to demonstrate the kid's eco-bots. The 4-H building, alongside the pulling ring, had one tiny entrance. Honestly, if I hadn't asked directions, I might not have found it.

As we were demonstrating and hanging around, several people walked in and browsed the displays. One particular couple came back around several times and finally, the husband said, "Kloey?" Her head snapped up and she immediately looked at me. Thankfully I was sitting only a few feet away and was able to intervene. I acknowledged that it was "Kloey" and wondered who in the world these people were.

The reality of older child adoption is that there are whole other families (and extended family) out in the world who are part of our children's stories. Some of those parts are not so good but quite frankly, some of the parts are not so bad. 

One thing we learned while being a foster family is that each child leaves an impact not only on our family but on all of our friends, our church, and our extended family. In the same way, we respect the birth families of our children and their own extended circle of people who touched the lives of our children. 

I'm guessing you really want to know who it was, don't you?

Turns out that this couple from several states away were vacationing and happened to come to the fair as they were passing through. The fact that they even thought to enter the 4-H building assured me that this meeting was divinely designed. 

The man was the brother of the girl's step-grandmother. It's complicated but the point is that this woman had given them ballet lessons at her house and dearly loved on the girls while they were living with their grandparents. They said they often asked about Kloey and Cora and wondered how they were doing. 

I easily accepted their place in the girls' lives thanks to the years we have spent working with birth families and we exchanged e-mails to re-establish contact with the grandparents, something that had lapsed over the last few years for no particular reason. 

We got a picture and the girls got a hug. Cora took it in stride and I think Kloey was a little freaked out but managed to hold it together. Another experience providing an opening for dialogue to discuss where they are at in accepting their own stories (history).

The moral of this story is: 

Be ready for anything and thankful for everything. 

Pictures of the Week 8/12-18

Sibs in the Sprinkler

225 / 365

I don't think they appreciated momma's picture 

pause in the middle of the sprinkler action.

 

Answer Man

226 / 365

J-man isn't shy and loves to answer questions!

Hammock Boys

227 / 365

Fun at Farmor's with s'mores!

Real Life in the PM

228 / 365

What you get when it's bedtime (shouldn't be up) and 

you realize you haven't taken a picture that day.

Waiting for Joy

229 / 365

Won't be long now until we have our own Joy. 

  Ag-Man

230 / 365

My son loves tractors. He might be a farm boy at heart.

Lake Love

231 / 365

The big kids dominate the raft while 

the rest of us splash in the shallows.

Locked Up On the Inside

My sweet girl, who came at five and a half and whom we adopted three years later, has a hard time expressing herself. Verbally. Life was not kind in those early years. It wasn't filled with nurture, nor rich loving language and books, but many changes and never Christmas in the same place.

She is the one who rarely smiles. 

As she grows, heart to heart communication remains at the top of the list of things to work on. Some days I wonder if she even likes us at all. She often seems to say (by her outward behavior) that life with our family isn't doing her any favors.

And how wrong I am to think that! Because what's missing on the outside is clearly still locked up on the inside. What follows is a poem she wrote on her grandfather's computer and she gave me permission to share it here. Her written words.

I love my Grandfather because he is awesome

I love my Grandmothers because they give me treats

I love my dad because he protects me

I love my mom because she knows when I need her

I love Lindsey because she knows what she is doing

I love Jerrod because he his tough just like his dad

I love Erik because he is just himself all I mean most of the time

I love Erika because she cooks really good food

I love myself ( Kloey) because I love horses 

my mom says I'm the horse person in the family

I love Cora because she is my own true sister I ever had

I love Joshua because he is fun to play toys with

I love Joy because she will be fun to dress her up

I love Trey because he loves to play soccer with me

I love Micah because he can be a cuddle bug sometimes.

The real smiles we seldom see but they are like sparkling jewels when they come. This girl, who came after much of life had been formed in her, thinks deep and feels deep and loves much. 

How wrong I was to think that because of her behavior (attachment and development issues), she didn't care!

She does care.

And I'm so grateful that she found a way to tell me!

!0 Kids = Fun At The Fair

Thanks to 4-H and free tickets, we headed out to the big fair on Wednesday. After my foray with the four youngest into the grocery store (at dinner time), I realized there was no way I was doing the fair without a few reinforcements. So I called up three more kids. Ten kids,  all 13 and under. I am definitely NOT super-mom but people, I excel in strategy. Which is probably why my kids won't play games with me....

I absolutely paid for premium parking. Ten bucks was never better spent especially after I crooned to the man at the gate about 10 kids, strollers, and heart conditions. LOOK at the parking space they gave me. We were the closest vehicle to the gate. Thank you parking people! They proceeded to stand and watch and even offer some friendly advice as we took about 20 minutes to offload and get organized.

Primed and ready for a great day - in the rain!

Most of the day was overwhelming for Joy. We have discovered that her cheesy smile is covering up the tears threatening to spill over. It was all too much for her but what a trooper. She hung in there, riding on my back most of the day.

So here is where the strategy comes into play. 

Everyone had a partner.

Partnership was at its best in the petting barn. Very sweet.

Joshua loved feeding the animals.

Micah, not so sure. He needed some sisterly support.

Black and white cows mean that we think about, 

talk about, and take pictures for big sister.

 If you can't milk 'em, ride 'em.

The rain poured down, off and on. We darted from building to building and managed to avoid the soaking wet status. The craft building was hilarious. I was looking at baked goods when I turned around to find the girls oohing and aahing over the antique dress display.....

While the boys congregated at something, anything else! Everything stayed dry except Joshua's shoes because his feet couldn't stay out of a huge puddle. It was calling his name, the puddle that is!

I could not have pulled fair day off without this young man who selflessly pushed the stroller through rain, storm, mud, and masses of people, with THREE little boys attached.

The biggest reason we went was for the kids to 

demonstrate their Eco-bots in the 4-H building.

Joshua and Erika are explaining, creating, and trying out bots 

made out of motors, watch batteries, and heads of toothbrushes.

The other strategy: Promise cotton candy at the end of the day.

The first timers were in heaven!

 I took 10 slightly soggy kids up to the cotton candy counter and asked, "How much?" Bless the cotton candy lady. She took one look at me and said, "How much do you need? Then I'll tell you how much." For twelve bucks, we got a bunch of ooey-gooey melt-in-your-mouth sugar!

Those beards didn't last long.

We had a fantastic day. I always tell the kids that we are a walking advertisement for large families. Today, they were up to the task and definitely put their best feet forward.