Team Joshua

China is fading. Mandarin is fading. I'm not sure how I feel about that. I regularly check in with Joshua and he seems more annoyed that I keep asking then worried about missing his life in China.

 

Poor Ultraman is fading too. He did not stand up to the test of time and the rugged play of three little boys. 

Happy to get some mail from China. The SWI from Hangzhou sent us a 2012 calendar. We think we found Joshua on one of the pages.  He was more excited about getting mail than the actual calendar.

One of the issues that we are watching is Joshua's lack of growth and weight gain. Still no change today at his doctor's appointment. We will be sending in a 72 hour food diary to the GI doctor most likely resulting in meeting with a nutritionist. Joshua eats well especially compared to Micah and Trey so we need to find out where all those calories are going.

Today we added more doctors to the team. We continue to gather information and investigate what makes our little Asian sensation tick and how we can keep him as healthy as possible. 

Our current team of doctors:

Pediatrician

Cardiologist

Gastroenterologist 
Allergy/Immunologist

Endocrinologist

Orthopedist

The other day, I asked Joshua if he knew he was small. I was curious if he understood that he is significantly smaller than other kids his age. He said no.

We have tried to introduce "heart" language, putting words to Joshua's symptoms so he will be able to help us know when something changes. He takes it all in stride. His chest, his breathing, his jumping heart, it's all he's ever known.

Joshua brims with confidence. He accepts himself for who he is. As we meet with more and more doctors, I realize how strong our medically fragile child actually is. 

Inside and out.

Backyard Olympics

The February mud, thaw, and freeze produced 

a sweet little backyard skating rink.

 Every girl's dream....

 To twirl and glide.

 With a swirl of the hips...

 A flare of the skirts.

My little girls are growing up.

Thank you, Erika, for the taking the camera outside!

Oh, You Like Your Kids

Darn tootin'!

I was at a baby shower and a friend mentioned that I wouldn't be in a hurry to get home because I must not get out much.

"Actually, I go out whenever I want. My husband is the best."

After 25 years, you work that stuff out. Or die.

"Well," she said mostly in jest, "It must feel good to get away from the kids. Oh yeah, I forgot, you like your kids." 

Love is more like it.

Last week at a church meeting with my husband, a very nice guy sidled over to me and asked me where all the kids were? 

I get this a lot. 

Like how could I possibly have that many corners to stick them all in? Maybe people forget that older kids watch younger kids? We make it work and everyone gets commensurate rewards. Oh, they do! You would also be surprised at who watches who. I have spies everywhere.

I said as much but I don't think he believed me. Yes, they are home watching TV. It's the best babysitter I know. This week was "Cars 2". When we rent a movie, we get our money's worth watching each one at least three or four times. Then I'm done for life.

It helps that we only live 1 mile from the church. And we both have cell phones.

He wasn't satisfied. "You two must love being away from the kids. You probably don't even want to go home."

It's true. I do love my husband. And being whisked away into the sunset sounds pretty good.

But I CHOSE my life.

No, that's not true.

God PLANNED my life.

'Cause I couldn't have thunk this up if you paid me. 

Really. 

I miss my kids when I am not with them.

Pretty sure Bob and I wouldn't have it any other way. 

I LOVE MY LIFE. 

I know, because I didn't always feel this way.

End of rant.

Pictures of the Week 2/19-2/25

The Real Thing

50 / 365

A friend dropped off some shrimp. 

The kids said they looked like they came 

from the ocean not like the stuff in the store. 

That's because it did! 

Joshua knew how to tear heads off!

  Busy Boys

51 / 365

Legos were the morning activity. It was quiet for hours.

  12 + 4 = Love

52 / 365

Brown is beautiful! 

Hair, eyes, skin - that's what's on the outside. 

I assure you the insides of these two are pure gold!

  Nice and Warm

53 / 365

The boys take good care of us keeping the pellet stove going round the clock. Once or twice a day, someone goes out to the shed to haul in a 40 pound bag to feed the black monster.

  Perfect

54 / 365

Cora made me the perfect omelet this morning. 

I am one lucky Mom.

  Block Play

55 / 365

Bob and Joshua got creative with the blocks during our afternoon at the hospital.

Saturday Night

56 / 365

Bath or shower? On Saturday night all will be clean.

Radio-What?

 On Friday we had a date with nuclear medicine at the hospital.

  First stop was nursing in radiology.

I lied.

First stop was that place with the yellow arches.

 Parents present and accounted for.

Any kid who is going to have a

radionucleotide liver scan

ought to have his own support team, right?

 Our whole day was practicing "hurry up and wait." 

Magic cream applied.

Joshua learned a new word - "numb"

 Squeezing Daddy's finger.

 Two tries. 

Super Duper Nurse John got the second IV to slide right in. 

Joshua was VERY proud of himself for not crying.

 This guy should get a customer service award. 

He explained every single thing he was doing in detail.

I learned a lot of science today.

I like science.

By the way.

 A few CC's of blood extracted 

and sent off to be damaged 

and bound with radioactive material.

 Then we waited.

   

Joshua kept himself busy arranging blocks

and taking his own pictures.

 Joshua's viewpoint. 

Not sure these poor folks knew they would make it on a blog but they

 were doing their job checking and double checking the blood.

Seems to help Joshua's stress level to let him have the camera and snap away. 

He was pretty pleased with this picture.

 Once the damaged bonded blood was reinjected, we were IV free.

 Which he was very happy about!

Back to the waiting room to play and wait for the red blood cells to redistribute. Basically, we are trying to find out if Joshua has any working spleen material. The answer will help us formulate a treatment plan for keeping him as healthy as possible. We want to avoid any sickness that might stress his heart and lungs. Since the spleen filters the blood, it will be good to know how much he can fight off the bad cells. It's a battle people.

 Finally, the pictures.

Five of them.

 Each one took about 5-6 minutes where he had to lay very still.

What a champ!

From start to finish, the whole process took about four hours.

 Oh, hello buffet. 

We took Dad out to dinner.

You find out what a splash you made when your server from last month (only been here twice in four months) comes over and asks where all the kids are. I guess we are kind of hard to miss. I tipped her really big, too. Lots and lots of plates. And bowls. And cups. And there might have even been some food on the floor. Kristen is quite the sweetheart and worth every penny.

The ride home got a little interesting. We went four wheel drive and crawled along at 30 mph for a stretch. Arriving  home safely around 8:00pm thanks to my awesome hubby.

We will find out test results next week.

Radio-nucleo-tide 

Say that three times fast. 

I dare you.

Joshua - The Sandwich Kid

 Joshua is a true blue middle child.

The girls are 10, 11, & 12.

He is eight years old.

The little boys are 3 & 4.

Completely sandwiched.

I've been blessed with a good dose of down home common sense and so far I've been going with the gut as far as parenting Joshua goes. 

Joshua is on the small side. Actually he is tiny. Because of his heart condition, all his energy and calories goes to maintaining his 36 pounds. My other boys are small for their ages too possibly because of DNA and/or birth circumstances. At least I thought so until Joshua came and I saw what skin and bones, like count every rib, looked like. Joshua makes Micah and Trey look positively robust.

It's been easy to group these three together. Learning English takes some time providing a great opportunity for for Trey and Joshua to catch on to the ABC's together. A little friendly competition spurs them both on to make great progress. They play together all day long and it is an all-boy threesome that works for now.

 Staging their own "Power Rangers" showdown.

On the other hand:

Joshua IS eight years old. And he's smart. He came to us a very capable second grader. He can do grade level math, read Chinese, write beautifully: some Chinese characters and our alphabet. He understands everything and is a fun and willing student.

He likes to play with the big girls. He wants to listen to their lessons and he can out-craft and outdraw all but Cora, our resident artist. 

Joshua is certainly old enough to be a kitchen helper and learned the fine art of chopping and sauteing from Cora, our omelet maker extraordinaire. He loves chores and can unload the dishwasher and clean up with the best of them.

 Honestly, some days I don't know which way to swing. Factor in that he was an orphan for eight years and emotionally, he is all over the map.

Common sense prevails and we let him go where he needs to be.

 For now.

Joshua - What Took Me By Surprise

Our agency prepared us well for an international adoption. Especially since we thought we already knew how to do the adoption thing. Five times kind of puts you in the front row. But there is always more to learn and the pre-adoptive training helped fill in the gaps for our international adventure.

What I didn't realize is how jealous the other kids would be. We have seen many kids coming and going for over 10 years. And we did that well with the help of a therapist, our faith, and a lot of love.

We have had the blessings of adoption and the privilege of putting families back together. I thought my kids were well versed in how "to do" the new kid thing. Overall, they were excited about having a new brother and for the most part they were all on board with going to China. Once Joshua arrived, they let us know that there were dues to pay in the parent department. Even now, the green monster still rears his ugly head and it continues to be a mystery to me as to why this time they were so vocal. (Beyond the normal transitions that we expected and had previously experienced).

These little uproars are wonderful opportunities to explore where our hearts are at and we take the time to talk with any kid who feels misplaced, misjudged, or unloved. I do think we could have prepared them better although I'm not sure what that would have looked like. 

Now the little boys have embraced Joshua as their own. 

I think they may have a secret club going on.

They play and learn together all day long.

Keep'n me on my toes is the name of their game.

 And generally they are a force to be reckoned with 

in the most fun way imaginable.

 They have done a great job learning to share me.

 And don't seem to mind pairing up.

When God called us to adopt from China, I did just a little begging because I wasn't ready for another emotionally needy child. We spent two years of messiness trying to find a new normal with our other "older child" adoptions and it wore me out. 

God answered big time because Joshua is a delight. He is smart and willing to learn. He is appropriate with his body and his emotions. Sure, we have cultural differences but we can work on those. He is happy and easy going almost all of the time.

"Almost all of the time." Because once in a blue moon, he takes a stand and WANTS something that he cannot have. We did spoil him in China for sure. Because we could. It was worth the little entitlement issues that crop up now.

In the picture above he was mad because the little boys had gotten new sneakers that day and he wanted some too. As you can see he has on perfectly good sneakers that we had bought in China only 3 weeks earlier. Welcome to real life, Joshua. And that's not a bad thing.

I am amazed how wonderful an older child adoption can be. God orchestrated this journey from the beginning and we are learning to enjoy the ride every step of the way.