Who's The Baby Now

I am glad that Micah is now the baby of the family.

Somehow he deserves it.

When kids come and go from our home,

it takes time for everyone to move up or down the ladder.

This time, everyone is settling in quicker.

It's all good.

No, scratch that.

It's all God.

Living Dangerously

There was a day.....

when PANIC would have set in.

In fact, I would have refused to drive at all.

I am now throwing caution to the wind

and living dangerously.

Not one, not two, but three dummy lights.

After leaving at 7:00 am and returning around 10:00 pm,

I had to document my wild side.

Actually, by my 6th trip of the day, I was bored silly.

Lest you think I am reckless, not the case.

The check engine light keeps going on and off,
windshield wiper fluid runs out a lot this time of year,
and the air bag, well, I need to get that fixed.

Anyway, Lamplighter Theatre has some highly recommended

books on CD. This week in the car I listened to:

Sir Malcom and the Missing Prince

The Captive

Both are excellent stories with great messages.

Paperwork - WOW

The whole family. We had a 15 minute window when we were all in the same house. Since Lindsey was in Africa and then the boys had youth retreats, it has been tough finding a time when we were all together. But we did it. It is REALLY hard to get 10 people to all smile and take a decent picture. Interestingly enough, this one came out the best and the camera was set on a timer.

Sorry for my lack of blogging.

The baby left and we are all trying to adjust. It's a grey rain cloud that blows through every now and then. We have been looking at pictures and adjusting the lumps in our throats. She is doing fine and I have talked to her on the phone.

International adoption is NOT for the faint of heart.

I have been up to 11:00 pm or later every night slogging away on all the paperwork.

We are taking a 10 hour course.

The social worker comes next Monday to interview us for our homestudy.

I keep checking off the list. I am learning to pace myself.

I sent in my passport renewal even though it is fine until 2012, it has to have at least 18 months until renewal. I will be all set for quite a few years - check.

Criminal background checks for our state - check.

Waiting for paperwork for background checks for other states we lived in.

Passport photos - 8 of them. She gave me a break at the drugstore - check.

Birth certificates ordered - check.

Bob goes to work with a list every day of phone calls or faxes. He is so patient.

We are hoping to expedite this process. Lots to do, then a hurry up and wait period.

Here are the mug shots we had to send for our pre-approval paperwork.

I still have so many stories to tell you about the many miracles that have happened. Quite astonishing. If nothing else, my faith has been daily strengthened by God's goodness.

Here is an example: Do you see the picture in the background of this shot of Bob? Yes, a panda bear from China.

It just keeps happening, ALL THINGS CHINA is my new motto.

The red thread is here to stay.

Sending Them Home

"I don't know how you can give them back."

The most frequent comment/question we get.

"You fall in love with them and then you have to let them go."

Where does one go from there.

"I could never do that."

Kind of a dead end.

We have had sixteen kids come through our doors over the last nine and a half years.

Five stayed.

Eleven went home or moved on.

No, it wasn't easy.

But here is what we've learned:

• How to grieve. A good counselor can be really helpful.
• About vicarious trauma. Sharing in the pain isn't easy.
• God has a plan.
• It's a gift to be part of God's plan.
• Being part of someone's journey is a blessing.
• 2 days, 2 weeks, or 2 years, we DID make a difference.
• Following God's call is hard but to NOT follow is harder.

We do grieve. Change is hard. Good change is hard. We are not supposed to talk about cases but the fact is that one day we have a kid and then the next we don't, and it is kind of obvious.

We gathered as a family and said a special prayer over the baby at church on Sunday.

We all went together to drop her off at home. That good counselor helped us learn many years ago how to give our other kids closure. Everyone has a visual about where the kids are that we have sent home. They know all the parties involved. We have as much closure as possible.

This time it is a little different because our families will remain tied forever by biology. The baby is Trey and Micah's sister and there are other siblings that they deserve to know as they grow up.

Siblings in care and their relationships have taken on a new meaning for me over the past year. It will become a point of advocation for me in the future.

Precious, precious memories.

The best part?

Birthmom is open to how God is working in her life.

Hallelujah!



Bye for now but not forever.

We love you Baby R.

Comings and Goings

Which way is UP???

It's weeks like this that my calendar is connected to my hip!

I check it every morning or else I'm LOST.

Here is my week:

Lindsey left for Africa a few weeks ago.

Bob left for Ontario, Canada on Monday.

I picked up Baby R for her LAST weekend with us on Wednesday.

Bob came home from Canada late Wednesday night, technically the wee hours of Thursday morning.

Bob and Erik leave on a Junior High Youth Group trip for the weekend Friday afternoon.

Lindsey comes home from Africa on late Friday night.

Bob and Erik come home on Sunday and then we leave to take Baby R home for good. We like to do that as a family.

Lindsey returns to college.

Whew! And regular life of classes, laundry, work schedules, and fun goes on.

My mantra?


Better to busy than bored.

God is good, all the time.

CAVEAT

We are MATCHED with our little China guy through the AGENCY.

NOT with CHINA yet.

Doing paperwork now.

Please pray for favor from China.

Lots of stories to tell.

So excited.

Coming Soon

I am gathering my thoughts about:

1) The Nemesis of Change

2) Sending Them Home

3) Warfare Surrounding Adoption and Large Families

We have a wee bit going on around here.

Look for these posts soon.

Jennifer

Flying Solo

Flying solo this week.
My date tonight will be my laptop and a decadent chocolate bar.
Not going to keep me all that warm.
Hopefully the cat will sleep on my feet.

What a day. It started out in the wee hours with a toddler at my bedside. "Mommy, my nose hurts." Sure, go back to sleep. Uh-oh, the telltale choke/cough and the flood...in my bed. I told Bob that I was so glad he was home or I would have cried. Clean up the bed, the floor, the bathroom, the kid. Bob calculates the short amount of time before he has to get up and go on a business trip. Of course, as toddlers do, he woke up good as new and was running around the house like nothing ever happened. How do they do that?

It was too cold for outside time. Never got above 10 degrees. Oh boy, I am thinking of going down to the basement and finding the mini-trampoline. Need something for all these active kids who are going to start bouncing off the walls.

Erika loves to take pictures of silliness.



Thanks for checking in on my "boring' life.

I Never Knew

I NEVER thought I would adopt a child from China.

I never considered adoption.

I never thought about having a trans-racial family.

I never imagined that I would be a mother of many.

I never knew the joy that would come from following God's call.

Isaiah 30:21

Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.”

I know that if God wants us to adopt this boy who has captured our hearts, then He will go before us.

I know that we are VERY excited.

I know that we are cautiously optimistic because there are many hills to climb and mountains to conquer.

I know where I want to go for my 25th wedding anniversary.

CHINA!

Truth or Consequence

I can deal with the sin, really I can.

I cannot tolerate lying.

Even if it is about the sin.

Double sin, if there is such a thing.

She had my calculator.

I did not care about that but I needed my calculator for something.

RIGHT NOW.

She thought I would care that my calculator was in use.

She lied about having it.

I almost got sucked in but resisted because I knew it to be true.

Later, amidst still constant protests that she didn't have it, I asked her to write a letter of apology. I said she could use the calculator. I told her she cannot lie.

Here is the letter:


Dear Mom,
I lied to you because I didn't want you to be angry at me.
I wanted to be truthful but I could in my mind but not on the outside.
I didn't want the boy and girls to make fun of me as usual.
Love,
PS I am stupid not to tell the truth.
PPS I am sorry will you forgive me.

Couldn't you just cry?

This girl came from a very hard place.

I am amazed at the depth of her understanding.

I didn't know that she had come this far.

Thrilled that we can communicate.

What changed?

One thing is time. Lots of time.

Time to prove that we mean what we say.

Time to show that we will not give up on her (like everyone else in her life).

Time to heal and learn how to trust.

Time together in the rocking chair.

Five years in and time is making a difference.

Whatever it takes. She's worth it.