She Calls Me Mom

And that's okay.

With her Mom and her Dad and pretty much everybody else. 

 It's not a problem, it's a celebration!

 We were blessed to raise her through most of the firsts.

Food, sitting up, steps, words. 

A precious privilege.

 The siblings gained a bond that will not be easily broken.

Support that will be very important as they grow and learn and wonder why? 

Our time together is more limited now but no less important.

The girls like having each other. Actually, let's say they've made peace. 

 Matching dresses and a little ballet helps.

 One weekend a month we love up on our littlest girl 

who will always be a special part of our family.

Mommy and Daddy Bob love you sweet thing. 

And it's REALLY quiet here now that you are gone. 

I remember the first time someone else's child called me "Mom". Panic stricken, I went right to the therapist. I didn't want to usurp another's place in their child's life. Nor did I want to make a big deal about anything with a child who was already up against a myriad of struggles. Sometimes, the kids who called me "Mom" were fairly observant in that they would quickly learn that "Mom" would get my attention faster than "Jenny" or "Hey you" or pointing with a grunt. Others needed that security the name can give. What I learned for myself was that "Mom" is sometimes a name, sometimes a feeling, and most often it is both!  I treasure the children we were allowed to "mother" through very hard places, a time of separation from all they knew and those they loved. I will forever be grateful that we were a part of many children's lives and hopefully, in some small way, they might remember the love we shared.

Coming soon: My thoughts on open and closed adoption. It's hard both ways.