There have been serious efforts by unnamed forces to derail me and mine.
Sickness, sin and disobedience, doubt....
In the midst of this, I remind myself to find joy.
Yet, sometimes my mind wanders to the land of WHY-s...
Why did we adopt a child with an uncertain future?
Why did He ask this of us?
Why do we have a large family?
Why do we have difficulty finding satisfaction in our toil?
Why are my kids so darn needy some days?
Lest you think I'm a true Debbie-downer, I simply remember:
The journey to Joshua taught me TRUST like I never imagined.
I believe in the GRIEF CYCLE and sometimes I can see the stages.
My friend got the brunt of my "anger stage." I think she still loves me.
I tried to "bargain" with the doctor. I asked him, brilliant man that he is, if he was sure......sure that there was nothing to be done.
And then there was the "depression" stage. But here is where God gets all the glory.
If I wasn't 100% sure that HE had orchestrated each and every step of our journey Joshua, this life would be almost unbearable.
But there is no other explanation for all the miracles that happened.
August 2010 - Joked about going to China to adopt a kid.
September 2011 - Got a very LARGE unexpected check in the mail. Bob and I look at each other in disbelief and realized we are going to China.....love that we are on the same page.
October 2011 - Contacted adoption agencies to find out if we qualified, asked how to start the process of overseas adoption, etc. We got turned down by several.
November 2011 - Saw Joshua's picture on the side of Jean's blog.
December 2011 - Contacted K at his agency and she allowed us to review Joshua's file.
December 2011 - Got an appointment with a pediatric cardiologist at a satellite office near our home within 3 days.
January 2011 - Received PA from China. We were allowed to proceed with the adoption process for one very precious little boy in China with a broken heart.
February 2011- July 2011 - Worked hard to expedite as much of the paperwork as possibly.
August 2011 - left for China on Joshua's 8th birthday, August 21, 2011.
I cannot explain WHY we went to China, only that we had to go.
And ever since we have been blessed.
It is like there was a place waiting for Joshua in our family.
And we will never be the same again for loving him.
When the land of why-s starts to call, I will remember to:
Learn to do good.
Seek justice.
Help the oppressed.
Defend the cause of the orphan.
Fight for the rights of widows.
Because this is what the Lord commands.
And the hard parts?
That is when we know He is there with absolute certainty.
Faith is being sure of what to hope for
and certain of what we cannot see.
Hebrews 11:1
I meant to tell you in church when we were talking that i was thinking of you this week when I heard on the radio the Song Merry Christmas by Third Day.
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