You rock, Mick-A-Like

Here is what happens when you have really long hair.....

 And your sister (older sister) asks if she can straighten your hair.

Telling you how good it looks the whole time!

 Sometimes we have more fun than should be allowed!

Hat-ified.

The Land of Whys

It is weeks like this that I know God must be in it.

There have been serious efforts by unnamed forces to derail me and mine.

Sickness, sin and disobedience, doubt....

In the midst of this, I remind myself to find joy.

Yet, sometimes my mind wanders to the land of WHY-s...

Why did we adopt a child with an uncertain future?

Why did He ask this of us?

Why do we have a large family?

Why do we have difficulty finding satisfaction in our toil?

Why are my kids so darn needy some days?

Lest you think I'm a true Debbie-downer,  I simply remember:

The journey to Joshua taught me TRUST like I never imagined.

I believe in the GRIEF CYCLE  and sometimes I can see the stages.

My friend got the brunt of my "anger stage." I think she still loves me. 

I tried to "bargain" with the doctor. I asked him, brilliant man that he is, if he was sure......sure that there was nothing to be done.

And then there was the "depression" stage. But here is where God gets all the glory. 

If I wasn't 100% sure that HE had orchestrated each and every step of our journey Joshua, this life would be almost unbearable. 

But there is no other explanation for all the miracles that happened.

August 2010 - Joked about going to China to adopt a kid.
September 2011 - Got a very LARGE unexpected check in the mail. Bob and I look at each other in disbelief and realized we are going to China.....love that we are on the same page.
October 2011 - Contacted adoption agencies to find out if we qualified, asked how to start the process of overseas adoption, etc. We got turned down by several.
November 2011 - Saw Joshua's picture on the side of Jean's blog.
December 2011 - Contacted K at his agency and she allowed us to review Joshua's file. 
December 2011 - Got an appointment with a pediatric cardiologist at a satellite office near our home within 3 days. 
January 2011 - Received PA from China. We were allowed to proceed with the adoption process for one very precious little boy in China with a broken heart.
February 2011- July 2011 - Worked hard to expedite as much of the paperwork as possibly.
August 2011 - left for China on Joshua's 8th birthday, August 21, 2011.

I cannot explain WHY we went to China, only that we had to go.

And ever since we have been blessed.

It is like there was a place waiting for Joshua in our family.

And we will never be the same again for loving him.

When the land of why-s starts to call, I will remember to:

Learn to do good.

Seek justice.

Help the oppressed.

Defend the cause of the orphan.

Fight for the rights of widows.

Isaiah 1:17

Because this is what the Lord commands.

And the hard parts?

That is when we know He is there with absolute certainty.

Faith is being sure of what to hope for 

and certain of what we cannot see. 

Hebrews 11:1

Open Adoption - Not In My Wildest Dream

Three on the third.

Three kids born on the third of November. 

One special little girl and a set of twins.

Because we have  biology going on, we were invited to the birthday party.

And this is when it hits me.

What "open adoption" is all about.

Family. 

Relationships.

Showing the love of Christ to the hopeless and lost.

No reason. No agenda. 

Just because,

we love because Christ first loved us.

Kloey has a nurturing heart. 

The twins are not light weights.

Then again, neither was this little fella. 

Recognize Mr. Trey? 

The resemblance is uncanny.

Closeup of one of the twins.

Trey, big brother of four sibs.

It was fun to find these pictures and compare.

Just like it is hard to take a decent picture of these five together.....

the growing up part won't be easy.

There will be questions that don't have answers.

Grief that cannot be soothed with a hug and a kiss.

The future in God's hands, His plan.

The gift is in the giving. 

When a mom who has been misunderstood, downtrodden, and unsupported most of her life gets to stand with her children.....

friends, that is joy.

Pure joy.

(P.S. I do have permission to tell and share some of the story.)

This Week At Kitchen Table School

I read a post today about a messy table. Mine is messy all the time and I am okay with that because that means life is happening.

Kitchen table school has produced some fun this week. The girls made cactus and then did an experiment with a flashlight trying to figure out how the spines provided protection. Conclusion: Amazing how much shade a spine can cast.

These two made peace. 

Not sure whether they are watching in Mandarin or English...

 Micah commandeered Jerrod's headgear,

his green bean hat at that.

Kloey took it upon herself to do a gingerbread man unit with the little boys. One thing led to another and eventually we were decorating gingerbread cookies.

 Can you guess the creators?

The piece de resistance was Cora's cow made especially for big sister. This cow made it to the book of face. She's famous! Cora was proud of the udders. 

 Micah and I worked together.

 Joshua was very proud.

  Miss Creative.

Once again, I wondered if he had ever done anything like this before.

 Trey believes in candy coated cookies.

 What else for Kloey but a horse.

Times like this when I want to freeze life 

and capture the bliss of the moment.

 When we aren't creating, we are cleaning up. 

Proud of my boys for making it happen.

The big kids started yelling at them to get down and in an "older parenting" moment,  I nixed the critique. Isn't the idea to work yourself out of a job?

Anytime my kids work cooperatively, I will watch and applaud.

And most probably take a picture or two.

There's No Denying the Sibs

Want to have some fun?

Take a two, three, and four year old to a doctor's office.

Where you have to wait for at least an hour.

For a long time (sometimes still) I felt like I had to explain.

But the picture above sums it up. 

There is no denying the bond. 

Just line up the eyes. 

The biology is all there.

Siblings extraordinaire.

 

Early on I recognized how much they would need each 

other as they navigate this life that was chosen for them.

 I am grateful for the opportunity to strengthen these

relationships and treasure every moment together.

Note to newcomers: All three kids are biologically related. We adopted the two boys with the blessing of the birth mother. Miss R lived with us for a year and was reunited with her mother and two other brothers. We are fortunate to continue to be part of Miss R's life.

Coming soon: Open Adoption: Not in my wildest dreams.

The Long and Short of Twenty Two Years

Being born on Thanksgiving (in 1989) has its advantages and disadvantages depending on how you look at it. Your birthday is always around a holiday and you usually get multiple celebrations.

Twenty two years ago we were blessed to welcome Lindsey into the world in a birth center (not a hospital). After she arrived a little after midnight, they checked her out and said good night. We put her between us and I don't remember whether we slept or not. I do remember that we forgot to put a diaper on her. We were brand new to the whole parenting thing, that's for sure. I never even held a baby until I had my own.

This year, multiple celebrations ensured with 22 presents and chocolate on chocolate. A girl after my own heart.

Twenty-two lights up a room.

A little help from her friend is always welcome.

This child of ours is special.

She never complains:

- Sharing a room with girls 10+ years younger.

- Helping out with the littles.

- Compassion for the lost.

- Listening to Mom.

- Oldest of nine.

- Shopping.

- Cooking.

Celebrating our first gift from God who has a heart for Him. 

What else could a mother ask for....

Bonding Through Sickness

Kloey got sick. 

Really sick.

And I didn't know how sick.

She didn't tell me.

Because she didn't know how.

Trauma affects my kids in all different ways.

For Kloey, it means language.

By the time I realized that she was super sick, she was suffering.

Silently.

We had a med-check appointment with her mental health practitioner and after we talked about telling mom when you don't feel good, we went directly across the street to the walk-in clinic. The kid had a throat that was screaming hurt with pus oozing and not once did she ever tell me that her throat was sore.

Ouch. Wait. Strep test. Wait. Mono test. Wait.

Joshua was with me and took pictures to pass the time.

  

There is more to the story. Much more.

We walked out of there with a prescription for good old amoxicillin. 

Can I tell you that this girl has never been sick (EVER) in the six years I have known her. I have a theory about why. My nurse practitioner nodded her head and said interesting. I don't think she believed me. I think trauma kids WILL themselves not to be sick. Or tough it out. Or something. 

We have seen major progress with Kloey over the last six months emotionally, reaching out and working on her relationships especially with Mom. And now the vulnerable Kloey is sick.

Over the next two days, Kloey went further downhill. This is the part about adoption and not having the whole story that is hard. It didn't take long to figure out that she is highly allergic to penicillin. Rash - check. Confusion - check.  Nausea - check. New med and 24 hours later she was on the mend.

Except.

After 10 days on a different medication, the eleventh day presented a systemic rash.

Kloey thinks she has a foot disease. It is stressing her out. Poor dear.

While I wouldn't wish sickness on anybody, I am glad to walk through this with Kloey. To help her get better. To show her that I care. Deeply.

I wish you could see the look on her face when I stop everything and do what I can to make her feel better. Priceless.

The last six years of hard work....sometime excruciatingly hard....

 

She is worth it. A child of God, just like me.

Bonding takes time. 

And today, I feel like the cords are strengthened a bit more.