Six Months With Joshua Flew By

I'm pretty sure it was love at first sight.

He'd been waiting for us, well, like forever.

Like Sonia said over here, our first days together were wonderful and sad all at the same time. We believe the SWI well prepared him to be adopted.  He did not seem sad to leave, AT ALL. Which was odd actually. After watching my five other kids grieve in various ways, it has been strange that Joshua has not had any overwhelming sadness about leaving life as he knew it behind.

Maybe some day we will find out what he was expecting.

Maybe not.

It's kind of hard to get him to talk about his life in China.

Some parts are downright off limits.

Nor will he respond to anyone who speaks to him in Mandarin.

Other than his buddies that we Skype with occasionally.

Once we were home, Joshua integrated into our life beautifully. More than once, I have felt that while he was waiting for us to get him, we were waiting for him to come home and fill the hole in our family. He fit perfectly. Which was a huge confirmation for me because previous to our China calling, I was adamant about keeping our kids in birth order.

Joshua has delighted in trying everything. I've been amazed at how he has trusted us to keep him safe from the day we met.

He doesn't seem to be afraid of much except lightening and thunder. Of that he is TERRIFIED!

In China, Joshua attached to Bob right away. Once we got home, he quickly warmed up to me. I was the one who never left his side in the hospital although Bob was there as much as he could be. That was a good decision and helped our bonding. If you don't feel good and mama-bear goes to bat for you, your confidence level and consequently the love-o-meter goes way up.

Since we got the heart cath results and started on medication, it's been hard to keep tabs on Joshua's activity level. In fact, we don't ever limit him other than keeping him out of the hot tub. He rarely self limits. He is an 8 year old boy all the way. 

 Joshua does get short of breath. 

Running too much or going up stairs will do it. 

 His heart is enlarged and practically beating out of his chest.

Some days I look at him and think, "Oh, he is so much better." Yes, so much better than August. Living in China was very hard on his system. Dealing with the heat and cold without optimal nutrition is hard on a healthy body never mind a kid who is medically fragile. 

Joshua hasn't received a miracle surgery here in America that will radically change his future. But I can tell you, his quality of life is wonderful and He.Is.Happy!!!

 Every bit of the journey has been worth it. 

We wouldn't change anything. 

Love at first sight goes both ways.

Six Months Ago......

 We were a little nervous, excited, scared, happy.....

you get the picture.

 Because we were leaving on a jet plane.

 Going to China.

 Which happens to be on the other side of the world.....

Where at the very same time,

 a special little boy named Fan Kang

 was celebrating his 8th birthday.

**************************************************

Seems like a good week to talk about:

How we are doing

Adjustment issues

Older child adoption

Joshua's health update

God's all over it. 

His plan all along.

There's no doubt in my mind.

How Do I Do It?

I fly by the seat of my pants..... 

One grace-filled day at a time. 

I don't generally make New Year's resolutions but I made some decisions around the beginning of 2012.

After my third child, Erik, finally started sleeping through the night, I remember feeling like a new person. I was lifted from the fog that had surrounded me for almost a year. That is how I've been feeling lately. The last four years are a bit of a blur now.

Trey showed up at 8 months. Five months later Micah showed up at 5 weeks. 15 months later, Rosy was born and came at 4 months after a lot of intense wrangling with authority. I survived three under three in diapers and years of sleeplessness. Now lots of people do that, but in their forties? Really? I cannot tell you how grateful I am for my husband and big kids who pitched in at every wild turn of that story.

Then God called us to international adoption. THAT.WAS.CRAZY! For us, there was no choice but to move forward and bring Joshua home. God's direction was incredibly clear. The conception of the idea of adopting a little boy from China is a story that knocks my socks off every time I think about it. 

The combination of those years have given me stories, strength, and insight I never imagined. Insight into human nature that helps me understand my bigger kids, each with their own post-trauma journey going on. An insight which leaves my heart aching to help those in need some way, some how.

I also received 25 pounds. What a gift! I've got curves where there never where before. Stress? Change of life? Who knows but it's here.

Balance.

What I decided to do for myself this year:

1) Joined the community book club at the local library. One hour a month joining new people to discuss great books. Out of my comfort zone which was exactly the point.
Books I've read so far and highly recommend:
A Red Bird Christmas by Fannie Flagg
The Forgotten Garden by Kate Morton 

This month's book:
Loving Frank by Nancy Horan

2) Project 365 - Taking, choosing, and posting one picture a day for a whole year. I don't stick with much. I am delighted that I've been able to keep up with pictures and am enjoying this more than I thought I would.

3) The treadmill. Two miles a day is my goal. Once we got it fixed, I've been doing ok. The kids told me I needed to walk off my "baby". Aren't they cute? Cora asked me yesterday if I'd lost any weight. None. I told her it took me a year to put it on, realistically it will take a while to get it off. I walk for about 40 minutes and watch movies on the portable DVD to avoid boredom. I would walk outside but I don't have a dog and wouldn't walk too far by myself because of safety issues.

I devote about an hour a day to me. I feel selfish. Taking that time away from my family. I also feel better. Happier momma equates to happier kids. And that is very good!

Pictures of the Week 2/12-2/18

 A lot of red in my pictures this week. A bit of heart in my posts.

  Demented

43 / 365

That is what the girls named this strawberry. 

Too good to pass up at the store especially since they were on sale.

We ate two pounds in about 2 minutes flat. 

Buffet

44 / 365

We enjoyed dinner out at the Buffet. 

The kids all tried Icees for the first time.

  Happy Valentine's Day

45 / 365

My honey brought all the girls a rose.

  Yummy Green Poop

46 / 365

Tostadas for lunch today. 

No salsa to be found so we used guacamole instead. 

The boys dubbed it green poop. 

Taking Care of Business

47 / 365

You do what you gotta do!

  Isn't Technology Grand?

48 / 365

The little boys learn their abc's while the rest of us do school. 

 Now if I could just get them to stop chewing on the cords!

 Her Very Own

49 / 365

At long last, she earned the privilege of picking

 out her very own American Girl Doll.

A banner week for Kloey. A few years ago, there was an incident with another doll that was very unkind and malicious. She has worked very hard on her behavior and saved her money. Sometime last summer, I recognized that she was turning a corner. She definitely earned the privilege and is thrilled to have her very own. Yeah, Kloey. I am proud of that girl!

I Got Tagged

What fun!  Dawn, over at http://arethesekidsallyours.blogspot.com/, tagged me in a MEME. 

Whatever that is.  The power of Google says:
 "The definition of MEME is "An idea that spreads like a virus by word of mouth, email, blogs etc."

I'm game since Dawn is so FUN and has an amazing ministry to her family and community simply by who she is, what's in her heart, and where her treasure clearly lies.

The meme…
 
The (bendable) rules:
You must post these rules.
Each person must post 11 things about herself on his/her blog.
Answer the questions the “tagger” listed for you in her post, and create 11 new questions for the people you tag to answer.
You must choose 11 people to tag and link to them in the post.
Go to each blogger’s page and mention that you have tagged
him/her.

1)  What is your greatest food weakness?

Chocolate,
Nachos with medium salsa,
& Popcorn.
In that order.

2)  What is your favorite activity?

Sadly, at the moment, my favorite thing to do is reading blogs.
Or reading a good book.
Often the drama is about the same.

3)  If I gave you $1,000 what would you donate it to?

Someone's adoption.
OR
Clean water.

4)  What is one dream you had that has changed since your childhood?

Oh goodness. I NEVER thought I would have nine kids or live in the same area/state for 23 years. We moved around when I was young so I didn't think about staying put. 

5)  What is your favorite book of the Bible?

Lately it has been Genesis because every time I'm there, I discover a new angle.

6)  What is something you like to do by yourself?

Shower. Obvious I know but you haven't had three babies in three years.....
Laundry. (I have a system.)
Painting. (Good praying/thinking time.)

7)  What would be your dream vacation- if you had any kind of money?

We would really like to try a cruise as a whole family.

8)  What would you do with a whole day to yourself?

I could go in a few directions here.
- Lay in bed and watch movies, eating a lot of #1 above.
Conversely:
- Get up and clean my whole house with spit and vinegar.

9)  What is the "worst" chore you have to do?  (or as my grandma wold say you get to do ;)

 Clean my bathroom. I avoid it at all costs. Gross, I know.

10)  Who is the person who has influenced your life the most?

My parents. Things my Dad said to me as a teenager/young adult have stayed with me and I hear myself repeating MANY of their mantras to my own kids. I think it's all good.

11)  Why do you blog?

My blog is the scrapbook that I will never have.
I hope to inspire others to love each other along the way.

HERE ARE MY QUESTIONS:

1.  What do you want to be when you grow up? :)
2.  When you were 18, how many kids did you (or do you) think you would have?
3.  How many vocations have you had and what are/were they?
4.  Coffee, Tea, or Some Other Kind of Caffeine? What flavor?
5.  What do you crave? (Food, time alone, etc)
6.  What is the furthest place from you home you have been?
7.  If you could go anywhere in the world, where would it be and why?
8.  Are you a chicken/beef/pork kind of gal? Favorite main course/meal?
9.  Have you ever won anything? (Raffle, lottery, etc)
10. What Bible story (be specific) do you think about again and again?
11. What genre of music do you listen to the most?


PEOPLE I'M TAGGING:

Lisa @ Where Chaos Meets Creativity
Rebecca @ Chicken Scratchings
Jenny @ Our Plans Multiplied
Elizabeth @ Heartfelt Homemaking
Leah @ Forever Young
Lia @ Lia in Houghton
Hannah @ My Blissful Chaos
Kristin @ Trying to Control the Chaos
Jessica @ Our Life

Jennifer @ Myah is home and our journey has just begun!

Becca @ Mama of 10

Some of these lovely ladies I know well and others I would like to get to know better. Some people like Phoebe already got Meme-d. Come on Phoebe, I know you want to answer my questions, too!

Meanwhile...How to Keep Little Kids Busy During Big Kid Activities

 While the big kids are inside at karate....

  doing fun stuff like this.....

 and amazing feats....

 learning instructive fighting techniques.....

We hang out in the van using passive solar energy. Usually it is so hot, the boys strip down to their shirtsleeves. Today they had the little camera and it is fun to see the world through their eyes.

 They love to take pictures.

 Even a four year old gets lucky sometimes. 

See the reflection? That is so cool!

Micah refused anything resembling a pacifier but is now making up for lost time. He has chewed through four sets of headphone wires and occasionally works on Trey's nebulizer cord.

The ONLY time we use the portable DVD player is when we are parked. No ipods, headphones,  or screens are allowed in a moving vehicle. Call me old fashioned but I prefer that my kids argue talk to each other and learn how to get along in the car.

 Micah gets bored and usually keeps me company in the front seat.

In case you were worried, the pill bottle is empty. I don't let my kids play with drugs but I brought the empty bottle so I would remember to stop at the store to get the refill. That's what is takes after a certain age you know.....visual reminders.

Ninety minutes go by in a flash. Sometimes we read books, draw, pick up trash in the car, eat, or get into the girl's stuff in the way back. And then there are the potty runs, but that was the picture of the day so stay tuned!

I Blew It - Not Quite What We Planned

Monday, me and seven of my besties set off for the city to start the next round of doctor appointments for Joshua. We spent 2 hours looking at the parking lot. The doctors, they came and went. They went and came. We debated. They called the GI doctor. They called cardiology. Finally, with several lab orders and a plan, we headed off to the hospital to have some blood drawn.

Some of the older kids stayed in the van with Micah while he was sleeping. They would come into the waiting room after he woke up. They FREAKED out when they saw the pictures of the parking lot and thought I was watching them the whole time. Wonder what they were up to.....mostly eating every snack they could find and playing with the GPS.

Whoever makes the visual signs ought to have a proud moment. As I was checking in, getting our frequent flyer blue card for the hospital, I glanced over to see my four year old rubbing his hands together and practicing how to Keep Germs to Yourself!

 He very quickly engaged his brothers in a learning activity.

On our way out, we crossed paths with a therapy dog whose owner was more than happy to give us some time. It was a Goldendoodle named Gypsy and had hair so I let Trey pet him. That didn't work out so well, we had asthma crop up later. Now we know, he's allergic to ALL dogs.

Usually we head over to the Children's Museum after Joshua's appointments and today was no exception. EXCEPT, Mommy forgot that the Children's Museum is not open on Mondays. Boo. Bad mommy.

You know you have great kids and must be doing something right when seven of your besties can roll with that punch and roll they did. We got silly and laughed and had fun anyway. We rolled down the window at a stop light and took a picture for our resident cow expert knowing that it was "book of face" worthy.

Secondary to the Children's Museum is the buffet. With some Christmas gifted money, we treated ourselves to dinner out. The kids all tried an ICEE for the first time, EVER. Really? They assured me they had never tried a blue, red, or coke flavored ice drink before.

Excuse me, but if you don't believe in food dye reactions, then you can take seven kids out to eat and let them have as much blue ICEE as they want. Heck, you might even let them try all three colors like I did. I was still feeling the bad mommy blues about the Children's Museum being closed so I went with being the "Yes" mommy for the night.

Our table got a little busy after that. 


We had exactly eight bathroom trips during our tenure at the buffet. Certain little boys visited the loo more than once. In fact, at one point, there was a poopy potty party going on as production of matter was being compared between stalls. A particular pre-teen girl was heard shushing and telling her brothers to ZIP it up. Like lock it up and throw away the key. Apparently, she didn't think all the old ladies (hey, when you are eleven, they all look old) wanted to hear about poop consistency. Once back to the table, she pretty much said never again. Good thing I have some subs warming up in the pen.

Micah spent a good 10 minutes staring at a little girl a few tables over. What am I supposed to do about that? He's three for crying out loud.

We made it home safe and sound by bed time. Oddly enough, Micah dragged this blankie around all day. He's never been particularly attached but today he dragged it through the hospital and the food warehouse and played with it in the car. You only live once so go for it little guy!

Can you feel my pain? We weren't even done yet and the silly pump shut me down, like a bartender who thought I'd been drinking too much. I really shouldn't let Big Red get so thirsty.

Random Life

I've had a few heavy posts this week. 

Time to throw in the randomness of life in these parts.

Practicing the piano gets tricky when the cat wants to get in on the action.

Watch out if you leave water sitting around.

You know you are a blogger when your kids drag 

you to the bathroom to take a picture of this.

My brother went to Chinese New Year and 

brought us this cool fruit from the market.

Joshua was delighted and excitedly dug in.

Thanks, Uncle Marc.

This man gets down and plays a mean game of whatever is on the menu.

With whoever needs him!

 February mud?

 They were rolling in it.

And having a grand old time!

Miss R came this weekend for her visit.

We all love our time together.

She is all "TWO."

When I come across scenes like this, I bolt for my camera. 

I want to remember the good times. 

These sibs.

This love.