Humbled

God has a way of humbling us.

I have been doing a lot of reading about international adoption. What I am learning is more about adoption in general. Adoption like I thought we already experienced. Apparently, we have only just begun, leaving me feeling naive and vulnerable.

Because I thought I knew. Nine years of foster care and sixteen kids through the doors, along with five adoptions ought to count for something. We seem to be doing pretty well with the average bumps in the road. We have learned about transitions, attachment sensitivities, trauma, PTSD, label, label, label, ....importance of birth parents, stages of grief, Maslow's pyramid, depression, genetics, dependence, racism, mad means sad, being a mother/father and being a parent are two different things,.....

and finally, something I read on Holly's blog today:

"It isn't your fault, but it IS now your problem." So I can stop blaming myself for things past and outside of my control and start asking the Lord, "What should I do with this problem Lord?"

Amen to that.

I am grateful for this road to China, inching along the red thread. My eyes are opening to the realities around me as we navigate the path of international adoption. I never imagined this is what it would take for me to look at adoption differently, to become more sensitive to where my kids (all my kids) are at in their own journeys. To help them along the way to finding their place in this world is an incredible honor and I thank God every day for giving me the hardest job I will ever LOVE.