Hugs and Boundaries

I liked Courtney's post about attachment issues.

It's a continuum.

Attachment comes in all shapes and forms.

Storing Up Treasures: Lots of hugs and kisses

Attachment can also be unpredictable:

Like prickly pears or...

lovey dovies.

We have been there with kids who are too affectionate.

Hard to convince people that cute little kids can be inappropriate with their affections and especially difficult when the kids are still in the "needing to be held" stage under age 3.

But cutie pie toddlers turn into precocious preschoolers really quick.

Sometimes I think the hardest part about RAD issues is the education of other people in our life.

We have had our share of kids who went over the top when seeking attention.

Some of our friends were heartbroken when we had to ask them to high-five our kids instead of hugging them.

One little girl we had would climb on any lap available. Our therapist explained that she was trying to endear herself to others before they could reject her. That was heartbreaking. I can't imagine feeling so lost that I needed to seek that kind of approval.

Oh, to walk in those shoes for a day.

We constantly work on appropriate boundaries. No cling-ons allowed.

Don't get me wrong, everybody gets their hugs and plenty of 'em.

But like the post above pointed out, we try to give as many as we get.

All good relationships have balance along with the give and take.

When you don't learn that stuff in the beginning of your life, it takes some intentional learning to catch up.

My two cents.